Do you feel as if all the magic has disappeared from your relationship? You may have lived with your significant other for many years and have been happily married up until this time, but problems have arisen for a variety of reasons, and you seem to be gradually drifting apart. Of course, this can be a very traumatic time, and you may not know what to do, but perhaps you should consider a trial separation to see if it helps. What is involved here?
Take Steps Now
You must try and avoid a situation where the marriage simply dissolves into acrimony and you begin to hate the sight of each other. It is often very difficult to come back from this situation, and it will almost certainly end in divorce. Instead, a trial separation can help each person think independently for a while, focus on the issue from afar and try to make reparation.
Clarity Is Everything
Nevertheless, it's very important to talk this through carefully and to make sure that your trial separation has a clear structure. Both of you need to agree that this is the best choice at the moment and come up with some terms and conditions before you proceed.
Creating the Plan
For example, you need to set an exact date and time. This will determine when the experiment begins but will also set out how long the trial separation will last for. You must also schedule a formal meeting so that you can discuss how the separation worked for you and, most importantly, how it will affect your future together.
How to Structure
Some people choose to live in a completely separate environment during this period, while others will still live under the same roof. This is something that you need to choose between you from a practicality perspective as much as anything else. You should also lay out some ground rules with regards to communication and interaction and be very clear if this trial separation will allow you to date other people, as a kind of open relationship. As you can imagine, clarity is of the ultimate importance here, as otherwise this experiment could go horribly wrong.
The Ultimate Goal
Hopefully this will be a positive project for you and you will be able to come to the same conclusion. You will have identified the source of the breakdown in the relationship and can create a plan to help you work towards a common goal.
Taking Further Steps
Some people determine that they need to talk with a family therapist or marriage counsellor, especially if they are still uncertain. Sadly, however, this type of separation may not be sufficient to patch over the cracks and they may need to call it a day. If you need additional guidance at this stage, talk with a divorce lawyer so that you can move everything to a conclusion without too much additional heartbreak.
Share13 December 2018
Hello, my name is Sandra. I live with my two children in Eastern Australia. I have recently come through a very difficult divorce. My ex-partner used to drink too much and he wasn't a very good husband or father. The final straw was when I discovered he was having an affair. I filed for divorce the same day. I knew that getting divorced would be difficult but I didn't realise just how difficult. My husband did all he could to make it hard for me and the kids. Thankfully, I found a fantastic family lawyer who helped me through the entire process. I won custody of the kids and my husband has been asked to pay child support. I decided to start this blog to help others who are going through a divorce.